


When You Break

by SupernaturalDestiel_TFW



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Cheating, Cheating Dean Winchester, Dean cheats, Dean is in love with Cas, Dean's an idiot, Emotionally Hurt Castiel, Happy Ending?, Lisa tricks Dean, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Minor Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, basically Dean does something stupid, maybe not?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-07-18 20:52:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7330246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturalDestiel_TFW/pseuds/SupernaturalDestiel_TFW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas are both attending Kansas University. Dean has loved Cas since the day they met, and Cas loves Dean just as much. When it is approaching their one year anniversary, something happens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One - 'Perfect'

Dean first met Castiel when he was walking to class, Castiel had been his usual clumsy self and walked straight into Dean. When Dean turned around he was met with the bluest eyes he had ever seen; that's how the 'perfect' couple had met. It had been a year since Dean finally got the confidence to ask Castiel out, a year since they both realised that they couldn't live without the other in their life. 

Dean had a whole plan for today, where he was going to take Cas, how he was going to take him to the art gallery somewhere Cas has always enjoyed. He was only taking Cas there for selfish reasons, he just loved the look on Cas' face when he looked at the art it made him fall in love with his angel all over again and that was why he was taking Cas to the art gallery. Dean was sitting in his shared apartment waiting for his roommate Balthazar to come home, Balthazar the most annoying and loudest person he has ever known, the guy literally screamed at the television when titanic came on, the only reason he was waiting for the nutjob to arrive was he actually needed advice on whether it is a good idea to take Cas to the gallery seeing as he's been so many times before.

Dean fell asleep before Balthazar arrived, he woke up and realised he had slept for twelve hours. Dean jumped up and quickly got ready or else he would be late to class, which could result in him failing this term, he ran to his class and just made it on time; he was panting when Lisa walked over to him laughing.

"Hello Dean" Her voice was higher towards the end, but Dean didn't pay any notice and he smiled back

"Heya" Dean finally got his breath back and turned to face Lisa properly

"Dean, there's a party tonight at my place" She smiled slightly but the only response Dean gave was a nod

"And, well I was hoping you'll come" She stroked his arm flirtatiously "I really want you to be there"

Dean was useless at noticing flirting, the only time he would realised he was being hit on is when Cas got slightly jealous and if did Dean would assure him that Cas was the only person he would ever love or have feelings for.

"Sounds fun" Dean smiled and nodded "I'll be there" Dean then walked into his class not really noticing what was wrong with what just happened.

Throughout the day Dean was looking forward to seeing Cas, he didn't share any classes with him so the only time he'll see him is at lunch, Dean clocked the ebony black hair in a fraction of a second and made his way to it, he greeted Cas with a gentle kiss before saying "Hello Angel" Cas always blushed at hearing that nickname, it made him feel special, which he was, he was always special to Dean.

"I've been invited to Lisa's for a party later, you going to come?" Dean asked hugging Cas. Cas' eyes showed a small bit of hurt and jealousy

"Dean, you know she's always liked you ..." Cas whispered feeling slightly like the super controlling boyfriend but he knew Lisa had a major crush on Dean

"No she doesn't, she's just a nice person" Dean kissed Cas again "you know your always able to come with me if you want to" Dean swayed slightly with Cas and that caled Cas down a bit, so he nodded, he could trust Dean, Dean would never cheat on him.

"If you want to go you can, I have to go to the libary tonight anyway" Cas rested his head on Dean's shoulder "I'll pick you up so you don't crash baby" Cas moved his head off Dean's shoulder and kissed Den's chin.

"Deal"


	2. Chapter 2 - Happy Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas catches Dean

Lisa's party was chaotic, over half the people were drunk, the people who were not drunk were smoking week, Dean had no idea why he enjoyed these parties but he always did. It was just turning 11. Dean had had a large amount to drink which resulted in him in being Drunk.

At 11:20 he began to start to sing karaoke, that just proved how drunk he was as he never sang, even Cas had only heard him sing when drunk. Dean laughed with the people around him and even flirted slightly, he didn't know why he was flirting, he was dating the best person in the world! It was 11;40 when Dean saw Lisa so he went over to talk to her.

When it reached 11:40 Dean left the karaoke side and went to find Lisa, he wanted to thank her for inviting him. He found her almost instantly and stumbled over to her. When he reached her he tripped and held her for support and laughed.

"Hello Dean, enjoying yourself?" Lisa's voice was soft and sweet, she placed her hand on Dean's shoulder and Dean smiled at it

"Yeah, this- this is a sick party" Dean shouted a little louder than he needed and Lisa laughed.

"Let's go somewhere quieter" Lisa began to drag Dean upstairs and Dean followed, when they reached Lisa's room she closed the door and kissed Dean. Dean pushed her off, Cas was right; he shouldn't have come here.Lisa began to kiss him again, this time, however, Dean did not push her away, he deepened the kiss and lifted her onto his waist and walked to the bed. Lisa smiled and took off her top and Dean done the same.

Lisa began to kiss him again, this time, however, Dean did not push her away, he deepened the kiss and lifted her onto his waist and walked to the bed. Lisa smiled and took off her top and Dean done the same. In a matter of second Dean and Lisa were naked and Dean was kissing her chest, she moaned slightly and Dean smiled. Lisa then handed Dean a Condom and matter escalated quickly, he began to thrust into her making her moan his name, Dean leant down and kissed her when the door flew open.

\- 20 minutes earlier-

Shortly after Dean and Lisa went upstairs Cas walked into the house looking for Dean, he was instantly hit with the foul smell of weed and cheap alcohol, he tried to find Dean but failed so after 15 minutes  of looking for his boyfriend and not finding him Cas began to try and find Lisa's friends, Dean would always stay with people he knew so he must be with Lisa.

Cas found Hester getting more beer and went up to her, she always hung around with Lisa so she must at least have an idea where Dean is.

"Hester, have you seen Dean?" Cas shouted slightly so his voice could be heard clearly; what Hester did next made him feel sick, she pointed upstairs then began to laugh.

"Let's just say that they don't want to be disturbed" Hearing this Cas ran upstairs and heard a noise coming from a room at the end of the hall, which he guessed was Lisa's room, he stood outside for a moment then he heard it, the sound broke his heart, he didn't want to believe it, he couldn't! Then he heard Lisa moaning Dean's name, Dean was cheating on him! Cas always knew he wasn't good enough for Dean and this just proved it, the fact that he fucked the first girl who offered proved it.

Cas couldn't take it anymore, he opened the door to find Dean kissing Lisa and thrusting into her. Dean looked up and saw Cas standing at the door. That was definitely Dean, there was no way could say it wasn't. Cas felt his heart break and began to think he was going to be sick, tears were forming in his eyes, he couldn't look at Dean a moment longer! As Cas began to walk away he heard it like it was on cue, his phone went off! Cas had set an alarm earlier do he could call Dean as soon as it hit 12 to wish him a happy anniversary. Cas looked at Dean and tears fell down his cheek. "Happy anniversary asshole"

Cas turned around and looked at Dean, his tears were streaming down his face, Cas took a deep breath and said with a broken, almost silent voice.

"Happy anniversary"

Cas then turned and ran off.

 


	3. Chapter 3 - Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas is heartbroken, Dean is trying to show Cas how sorry he is.

Dean threw on his pants and began to run after Cas, he felt terrible, Cas had warned him not to come, Cas told him what would happen but Dean didn't listen. Dean ran out the front door just in time to see Cas driving down the road at full speed, Dean felt to his knees and began to cry, why was he so stupid? He loved Cas with all his heart and now Cas hated him.

"Dean, don't worry about it" Lisa whispered rubbing his back

Dean wanted to move away but he liked the touch against his bare skin, he liked being comforted this way, it reminded him of Cas.

Cas drove tears constantly streaming down his face, he trusted Dean and Dean broke his trust, so he drove away to someone he knew would be there for him. It was 2 am when he reached Gabriel's house, Cas was still crying all he wanted was someone to tell him how much of a dick Dean was so he came here.

Cas knocked on the door "Gabe, please answer the door" Castiel continued to cry and within a matter of seconds, arms were wrapped around him pulling him into a hug.

"Hey, what happened" Gabe whispered rubbing Cas' back softly

"Dean he- he" Cas wouldn't get the words out so he just cried harder "he cheated on me" Cas finally forced the words out and Gabe hugged him tighter.

"Well, if he's so stupid he can't see how amazing you then fuck him ... not literally though" Cas laughed slightly at that which made Gabe smile "come inside, you can stay here tonight, it's too late for you to be driving" Gabe slowly guided Cas inside and lead Cas to the spare bedroom.

"go to sleep, and we'll talk about his more in the morning" Cas nodded and laid down on the bed and instantly fell asleep.

Throughout the night Dean kept trying to call Cas, to try and explain himself but the more he ran the more he realised how much he fucked up, there was no way in hell Cas would ever forgive him, Dean didn't even forgive himself. Dean gave up phoning Cas and decided to text him instead.

_'Cas please, I know I messed up I am so sorry, Please just talk to me'_

Dean closed his eyes and cried again, why did he cheat on Cas? He loved Cas more than anything. Dean's phone vibrated in his head and he eagerly opened the new message.

_'Text Cas again and I will punch your face in! You broke his heart, Dean, he loved you and now you think you can get him to forgive you? YOU FUCKED SOMEONE ELSE!'_

Dean instantly knew it was Gabe who was talking, the way the message was set out, the language used and the fact that Gabe and Cas are as close as him and Sam made that obvious. Dean threw his phone at a wall in rage, of course, Cas would have gone to Gabe, and Gabe will definitely never allow Dean to try and make it up to Cas, not that he could.

Cas woke up and looked at his phone, he had countless missed calls from Dean, and he saw that Gabe messaged Dean exactly what he wanted to but didn't have the guts to do so, Cas began to scroll down his contacts reaching the letter D, he stared at Dean's name for a minute before blocking the caller and deleting the number. Gabe knocked on the door and smiled slightly at Cas.

"Here's a bottle of water" Gabe handed the cold bottle to Cas, which Cas thanked him for.

"Cas, what Dean did, you can't forgive him, ever. Once a cheat always a cheat" Cas nodded and smiled slightly

"I know, I never will" Cas whispered.


	4. Chapter 4 - Everyone finds someone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's actions effect everyone

The next morning Dean went to Sam, he needed to find a way to fix this, he needed Cas!

"Sam, open up I fucked up bad" Dean shouted knocking on Sam's door, Sam opened the door looking annoyed

"Dean, what do you want, it's five in the morning" Sam sighed slightly

"I messed up Sammy, I really messed up ... I - I cheated on Cas" After the words left Dean's mouth the door was slammed in his face 

"I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU! YOU THINK I WOULD HELP?" Sam walked away from the door, he couldn't believe Dean, what made Dean think he could ever fix this?

 

\- One Month Later -

It had been one month since Dean cheated on Cas, one month since Dean's life began to fall to shit. Sam still hadn't spoken to him, which is understandable, Cas is ignoring hi and trying to avoid him, which is slowly killing Dean.

Dean opened the door of his apartment and walked in on something he wished he would never see. Cas and Balthazar sitting on the couch kissing each other, Dean closed the door loudly; both Cas and Balthazar looked in the direction of the sound when Cas saw Dean he rolled his eyes and kissed Balthazar again.

Dean walked to his room with tears in his eyes, this was his fault, Cas is now dating his fucking roommate because of him! When Dean got to his room he punched his wall, he didn't want to believe that Cas was actually dating Balthazar now ... Well if Cas wanted to date someone else Dean could do the same, he called up Lisa and when she arrived Dean lead her to his room.

Cas saw Lisa entering Dean's room so he got up and left, of course, Dean was dating Lisa now, he should have expected it, but he hadn't. Cas walked down the campus trying to prevent himself from crying!

\- Over the next few years Cas continued to date Balthazar and Dean continued to date Lisa. Dean and Cas were on speaking terms again and although they both loved each other still Cas didn't want to risk Dean cheating on him again so he decided he wouldn't act on his feelings. -

Dean moved in with Lisa and Cas moved in with Balthazar, Dean didn't have feelings for Lisa, he just wanted to show Cas that he was moving on, although, in all honesty, he wasn't he had spent countless nights trying to figure out a way to show Cas how sorry he was, but he never could think of a way to do so.

Sam had been to visit Dean a few times in the years, he slowly began to forgive Dean, he knew how much Dean regretted hurting Cas. Dean received a phone call from Sam

_'Hey Dean, you want to come down this weekend?'_

_'Sure, but can Lisa come, I want her to meet the family'_

_'yeah whatever'_

When the phone call was over Dean went to pack and tell Lisa that they were going down to Sams. Truthfully Dean just wanted to get away from his emotions, especially as it was now approaching the day which would have been 3 years since he and Cas were together, three years since he fucked it all up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was short, I'll post another chapter tomorrow


	5. Chapter 5 - Take me back ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tells Cas he is still in love with him

Dean was putting the suitcases in the car, Lisa was still putting on her makeup which took forever so Dean decided that he would start getting the suitcases in the boot (trunk). Once he got the last suitcase in the car he turned around to see Cas standing in front of him, he was once again lost to Cas' ocean blue eyes, he couldn't stop staring at them, they made Dean fall in love with Cas even more.

"Dean?" Cas looked down knowing that Dean was staring in his eyes

"Sorry Cas, you alright?" Dean put on the best fake smile he could do, why did he mess it up with Cas?

"Yeah, Balthazar wanted me to drop this over, you left it behind when you moved out" Cas handed Dean his passport and began to walk away

"Cas, wait please" Cas stopped in his tracks

"I still love you and I know you still love me ... just stay, we can start again, please" Dean was begging, his voice was cracking and tears were forming in his eyes

"You're wrong" Cas walked away, which hurt him even more, but it had to be done! He couldn't fall for Dean again, not after how badly Dean hurt him.

Little did Dean know that Lisa was watching from her window, she heard everything Dean had said and refused to let Dean leave her so she began a plan, something she knew would make Dean stay with her forever.

\- At Sam's -

Lisa was resting her head on Dean's shoulder, everyone else had gone asleep so now was a perfect time to start her plan.

"Dean, let's go to the bedroom" Lisa smiled kissing Dean's neck slowly

Dean nodded and led Lisa to the bedroom, he needed to get his mind off Cas. Dean and Lisa had recently been sleeping together with no protection, Lisa was on the pill so she told Dean that'll he didn't have to use a condom anymore and that night was no exception.

The next morning Dean walked out to the kitchen to get some coffee, he was greeted by Jess and Sam.

"Dude, you really had to do it in my house?" the annoyance was clear in Sam's tone; Jess chocked on her tea

Dean shrugged "A man has needs" Dean poured himself a coffee and sat down, at that very moment Lisa walked out, she looked happy like she had achieved something but Dean played it off and ignored it. They spent the day going to a bowling ally having a 'double date' which just upset Dean, his last double date was when he was dating Cas; now he would never be with Cas again, Cas made that very clear.

Time began to pass relatively fast after they finished bowling and before Dean knew it he back at home. 

"Enjoy it?" Dean asked Lisa and she nodded, they both fell asleep as soon as they hit the mattress of their bed.

After a few weeks past Lisa went to the pharmacy and bought a pregnancy test, once she got home she instantly went to the bathroom and went to see if her pan had worked.

"Lis, I'm home" Dean yelled walking through the door

"Dean, I need you upstairs it's important" Dean ran upstairs and was greeted with the sight of Lisa sitting on the bed staring at something in her hands

"Hey, everything okay?" Dean asked sitting next to her, then he realised what was really in her hand, it was a pregnancy test with two red lines on it

"Lisa what does that mean?" Dean asked nervously

"It means i'm pregnant" Dean's face dropped he couldn't believe this was happening, he didn't love Lisa, let alone have a child with her!

Lisa hugged Dean but all Dean could do was sit there, it was like he was paralysed, the worst thing overall was that his parent were super religious, he couldn't tell them that he got Lisa pregnant out of marriage, they would probably kill him! That night Dean went out and bought a ring, he had to marry the person he didn't loved and that was killing him inside!


	6. Chapter 6 - All my fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tells Cas that he is marrying Lisa.

The ring Dean got wasn't the most expensive, it wasn't even the nicest looking one he could find, he honestly didn't care about marrying Lisa, he was only doing it so his child could be raised in a traditional family setting. He walked out the shop and started walking to his car; like usually fate was against him, he walked straight into Cas who was just returning from the library. Dean dropped the velvet box that every knew had a ring inside, Cas picked it up and handed it to Dean.

"That serious huh?" Cas smiled but Dean could clearly tell it was fake

"Yeah, I just ... she's pregnant so I thought I would start the whole apple pie life" Cas smile faded at the word pregnant, Dean's heart broke seeing that beautiful smile fade away.

"Well, congrats" Cas smile appeared again

"Thanks" Dean looked to the floor

"I hope you have a good life Dean" Cas began to walk away when he was stopped by Dean grabbing his arm

"I don't love her, I never did" Dean whispers and looks up at Cas "I've only ever truly loved you" Dean looked at Cas' chapped lips

"Dean..." Cas took a deep breath and pulled his arm from Dean's grip and started to walk away again, he stopped again and turned to face Dean

"remember when we used to talk about adopting a child when we get older? and you said you always wanted a son named Ben?" Dean nodded unsure where this was going

"If you have a son, name him Ben, it's a nice name" Cas smiled and walked away.

When Cas turned the corner he fell to the ground crying, he had lost Dean, there was no way Dean and he could ever get together, he should have forgiven Dean sooner, he shouldn't have got together with Balthazar! He should have told Dean how he felt, how he still feels!

After spending a good ten minutes crying Cas stands up and walks home, when he got home he sat on the couch and was ambushed by Balthazar "Hey beautiful" Balthazar kissed Cas and Cas kissed back slightly, Balthazar then straddled Cas and started to kiss his neck.

"Not tonight Balthazar" Cas whispered moving his neck out of the way but Balthazar kept kissing Cas' neck

"Balthazar. Stop!" Balthazar refused to listen and began lifting Cas' shirt up.

Cas pushed Balthazar off him "I said stop!" Balthazar smiled slightly

"Oh Hun, only if I cared" Cas' eyes widened

"What?" Cas heard his voice crack but he was hoping Balthazar didn't

"Come on Castiel, we all know I'm just your rebound" Cas shook his head

"Really? are you going to deny it?" Balthazar started laughing so Cas got up and left.

 

When Dean returned home to Lisa he instantly asked Lisa to marry him and of course she said yes, she began to plan everything instantly and all Dean could think about was the broken look on Cas' face when he picked up the ring, Cas' face when he found out Lisa was pregnant ... him telling Dean to use the name Ben, Dean knew how much that must have hurt to say, it was a name they decided together and now it was going to be used for Dean and Lisa, great!

Dean began to contemplate whether or not he should tell Lisa the truth, he knew that he had to marry her either way so he didn't see a point, so he stuck with his stupid plan of marrying Lisa and wishing it was Cas.

Dean and Lisa got married two months later, it was rushed but everyone kept saying it was a 'perfect' wedding, but to Dean, it wasn't perfect, the one person he wanted to marry was   at the back of the church.

"I Dean take Lisa to be my lawfully wedded wife ..." Dean looked at Cas who was looking at his hands

Dean and Lisa were married two minutes later with Dean kissing her gently and the rest of the room cheering and clapping, well everyone except Cas. Dean hadn't spoken to Cas since he saw him after he bought the ring so he went over to say hi and that's when he saw the ring on his finger ... 

"Cas? did you and Balthazar?" Dean was quickly cut off

"We eloped, we didn't want the whole big ceremony" Cas whispered still not looking at Dean

"Bullshit! I know you wanted a big wedding, you wanted to have your family there, friends" Dean walked closer to Cas

"well I changed my mind" Once again Cas walked away and Dean let him leave.

Dean was pulled into the other room by Lisa demanding they cut the cake, Dean placed his hand over Lisa's and slowly lowered the knife down onto the cake. Dean had a fake smile on his face, once he finished cutting the cake he went to find Cas again, it wasn't until he was saying he vows to Lisa that he truly realised what he had lost ... who he actually wrote those vows for.


	7. Chapter 7 - Show you wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean finds Cas and begs for forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't wrote anything recently, I was away on holiday and there was no wifi, I'm writing this in the airport atm

Dean searched for Cas for almost an hour before he found him, he ran over ready to spill his heart out to Cas. Dean reached Cas and realised that he was crying.

"Cas?" Dean walks over to Cas

"Leave me alone, Dean!" Cas said, not loud enough to be a yell nor quiet enough to be his usual voice

"What's wrong?" Dean's voice laced with worry

Cas cried harder so Dean sat down next to him and hugged him close.

"I love you Cas, I still love you" Dean whispered

Cas shook his head "Dean, we're both married, you can't say that..."

Dean frowned when Cas said that, he wanted to be married to Cas, not Lisa and he knew Cas didn't want to be married to Balthazar.

"We can run away, leave them" Dean suggested but Cas just moved away from Dean.

"We chose to marry Dean, we need to stick with it; you're going to be a father, we can't just leave!"

Dean felt his heart break, he messed all this up and now he will never have the life he wanted, he'll never wake up next to Cas again! Dean nodded and Cas left ... again. Dean wanted to cry now, he couldn't be with Lisa, he loved her, he needed to stay aaround for his child. Dean went to find Lisa after he got himself together, Lisa was talking to Charlie, one of Dean's closest friends. He walked over to join the conversation "Hello beautiful" Dean put on a fake smile and wrapped his arm around Lisa's waist kissing her cheek gently.

Charlie smiled slightly at Lisa, but when she looked at Dean she gave him a puzzled look, Lisa walked away once she saw one of her friends Dean couldn't remember the name of.

"Okay, what's up?" Charlie asked bluntly

"Nothing" Dean put on a fake smile

"Tell me" she demanded and Dean sighed 

"I ... I" Dean couldn't get himself to say it

"You don't love her?" Charlie whispered and Dean nodded

"then why did you marry her?" Charlie whispered loudly and Dean sighed

"She's pregnant, I had to" Charlie rolled her eyes and walked away

 

After the wedding Dean and Lisa went to their room, Lisa wanted to 'celebrate' the night but Dean told her he was too tired so they just fell asleep, well Lisa fell asleep, Dean was thinking about Cas, as usual. He missed Cas, loved him! He couldn't live with Lisa, let alone grow old with her!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, I have to go on the plane now, hope you enjoyed this chapter


	8. Chapter 8 - Build a Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tell's Lisa he doesn't love her and Lisa reveals the truth to Dean.

Three months after the wedding -

Ben was due any day now, Lisa was getting easily annoyed by small things Dean would do, something like leaving the TV on while going to the shop would make her go mad at Dean, Dean wasn't even sure if he could stand it anymore so one day he went to speak about it with Lisa.

"Lis, this is getting ridiculous, you keep shouting at me for stupid things, I can't deal with it anymore!" 

"Dean, If for once you just listen to what I say instead of spending the whole time in a world of your own maybe I wouldn't have to shout!"

Dean sighed and walked away but before he could he heard Lisa yell

"How about you just go back to Cas! We both know that's what you've been thinking about since our fucking wedding!"

Dean turned around and faced Lisa

"What are you even talking about!" Dean yelled back

"I'm talking about you and him, we both know you still love him!"

Dean paused for a second, he wanted to say no he didn't, but he couldn't because it was true what Lisa was saying.

"That's exactly what I thought! Why else do you think I got pregnan-" Lisa stopped realising what she just admitted

Dean's eyes narrowed in confusion for a moment before realising what Lisa just said 

"You got pregnant on purpose? SO I WOULDN'T LEAVE YOU!" Dean couldn't believe this, what gave her the right to do this!

Dean began to walk away when he heard Lisa yell at him one last time

"Tell me this! If I didn't get pregnant, would you even still be with me!"

With that Dean slammed the door shut and began to walk, he didn't know where to, he just let himself walk. After walking for about an hour he realised he was outside Cas' house, he knocked on the door, he needed to talk to Cas, Cas was always the one that cheered him up no matter what was wrong. The door opened, Cas was standing there in a jumper and jeans, his hair messy and his glasses resting on his nose. That made Dean smile, Cas was still the same dork he was when they dated.

"Dean? what's wrong?" Cas asked walking outside to be able to see Dean better

"Lisa ..." Dean whispered and Cas sighed 

"What happened did you two have a fight?" Cas ask concerned, Dean nodded.

"That's not what's wrong" Dean took in a deep breath "Want to come on a walk with me?" Dean asked softly and Cas nodded

"Sure" Cas closed his door and began to walk with Dean in silence, he was waiting for Dean to explain what was wrong and Dean knew it.

"She got pregnant just to make sure I stayed with her" Dean whispered and Cas looked at him with empathy

"what made her think you was going to leave?" Cas asked

Dean just looked at Cas which gave him all the answers he needed

"You still loved me ... and she knew?" Dean nodded at Cas' questioned and looked at the floor.

"Dean ..." Cas started but was stopped by Dean's sudden speak

"Cas, I know, I know okay! you don't love me anymore, and if you did you couldn't even trust me again! I know how badly I screwed up! I know!" Cas stopped moving while Dean shouted

"You finished?" Cas asked calmly and Dean just nodded

"I was going to say that Balthazar and I ... we getting a divorce, well an annulment" Dean's eyes widened

"... why?" Dean asked quietly

"It's not important" Cas whispered

"Cas ... what happened?" Dean placed a hand on Cas' shoulder

"He hit me, only once and it only left a small bruise, he felt terrible after but we both agreed that we didn't love each other" Dean felt sick, Balthazar shouldn't have touched Cas once!

"Cas, I never knew, I'm sorry" Dean's voice was gentle and caring

"and what you said about me not loving you anymore, that's not true ... I told you that I couldn't be with you because you're with Lisa and Dean you have to stay with Lisa, she's having your child." Cas smiled sadly

"Cas ... I don't love her, I love you. I have always loved you" Dean took a step forward and Cas took a step back

"Dean, I know what it's like to be cheated on, I'm not going to make someone else feel like that. sorry" 

Cas turned around and walked home leaving Dean standing alone in the middle of the street.


	9. Chapter Nine - The truth behind the story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben is born, Dean still loves Cas but is married to Lisa, Cas is moving away- so basically so much angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I haven't wrote in ages, I will try and complete this fic before the end of the month!

Dean had resulted to sleeping on the couch, he didn't want to sleep next to Lisa after what she told him, he couldn't bare to look at her anymore. It was a cold night when Dean heard Lisa yell from upstairs, he opened his eyes slowly, unsure what was happening when he heard the yell again.

"Dean! The baby's coming!" 

Dean shot up the stairs and ran to his and Lisa's old room, there he saw holding the side of the bed, Dean grabbed the bags him and Lisa packed months ago and helped Lisa into the car. Dean drove as quickly as he could to the hospital, he rushed in and got a wheelchair for Lisa, he helped her into it and then rolled her into the hospital, nurses began to take over and took Lisa into a delivery room.

Lisa was in labour for four hours before Ben was born, he weighed 6lbs 7oz, as soon as Dean saw Ben he had the biggest smile he could create, he rocked the crying Ben and hushed him, loving the feeling of having his son in his arms. Dean began to hum 'Hey Jude' like his mother did to him when he was younger, Ben slowly stopped crying, which warmed Dean's heart.

"We need to stay together for him, Lisa" Dean whispered

Lisa nodded and closed her eyes, she began to fall asleep after being in labour for so long Dean presumed she'd need a long night's rest, Ben also began to fall asleep on Dean's arm, so Dean placed him in his bed and walked out the room to get a drink, when he left he saw Cas sitting in the waiting room, Cas stood up once he saw Dean.

"I came to say congratulations" Cas smiled

Dean smiled and nodded "thanks, Cas"

Cas and Dean spoke for hours until Lisa or Ben woke, Dean told Cas that he decided to stay with Lisa, so he could raise Ben the best he could, Cas smiled and told him that it's understandable and that Dean wanted to raise Ben that way. When they finished speaking and Cas was about to leave Dean stopped him .

"Will you be Ben's godfather?" Dean asked nervously

"Dean, I would love to, but I'm moving to Europe, I won't be able to be there for him, I'm sorry" Cas smiled sadly and began to leave.

Dean was stuck there, watching Cas leave, unsure of what to say. It felt like Dean was watching Cas leave for hours, but in reality, it was only for a minute maximum, a Doctor came out and told Dean that Lisa was awake, so Dean went back into Lisa's room and stayed with her until Lisa and Ben were released from the hospital.

The first year with Ben was the best year of Dean's life, Ben had green eyes like Dean's, his mum's facial features, but his hair- his hair was just like Cas'. Dean loved Ben, but having Ben's hair look like Cas' was just hurting, more than it should.

Lisa was trying her best to ignore the pain in Dean's eyes, but she could tell he missed Cas so much. It was Dean's birthday when Lisa gave him an amazing surprise, he opened his card and out fell a ticket to go to England. The last time Dean had spoken to Cas (one week ago) he was in England, Dean looked at the ticket wide-eyed and his eyes watering.

"Dean, we said we'll stay together for Ben, but I believe that we'll be better as friends for Ben, we will argue less and he won't grow up around what he believes is love, if he see's you with Cas, he will at least know what truth love is like."

Dean pulled Lisa into a tight hug, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, Lisa was allowing him to go after Cas, allowing him to be with the man he loved!


End file.
